When I first came to Rhonda I was all over the place, mentally, physically and spiritually. I felt like I was stuck in darkness, with no direction, no love, and no life. I really felt that I was flying through life in a haze, never dropping any roots to make a path in life, just running away with a fear I did not understand. I would start trying to make things better, but be entertaining a dark notion on the side, which always hindered me.
I didn’t believe a word I said to myself, or that I was capable of doing anything from living, to answering my phone and getting a job. I was literally living my life in a state of disability. My mind was disabling me because I felt so much sadness, fear and confusion, to the point where I could hardly walk up the drive way without being swallowed up into a giant pit of horrible emotions and feelings. I did not understand why I was living my life in a state of grief, shock and sorrow when I had loving parents and was generally a normal person with a normal life who emotionally was in a battlefield. I had gone to psychiatrist after psychologist, had tried all amounts of medication and drugs, been down the path of suicide much too many times, and had literally exhausted every aspect of escape, and I still felt depressed, anxious, reclusive and withdrawn from my life. The first thing she knew was that I was in pain, living in a state of unnecessary agony and was sabotaging myself.
Rhonda told me an immensity of incredible things, things that I had suspected deep in my mind, and things that surprised me, and even some things I had seen in my dreams, things she could not have known unless she had the unique connection to spirit that she did.
Immediately I was telling her things that I had never told anyone before, and she was answering them with a firm and caring affirmation that now has changed me. There was a reason I was the way I was, and she informed me so.
Simply amazing.
Her words weren’t like the strict compassion less words of a social worker and psychiatrist, but in saying that they also differed from the words of my mother. When I had opened up to my friends and family, they never quite grasped why I was the way I was, never understood why it came out wrong or why I was doing the actions I was. Rhonda could see my soul, knew who I was behind my facades, behind the haze and fractured state of mind I was in. And she cared in the way I had craved for a very long time, because she saw the things I could not put into words, or express to others.
Of course it wasn’t a simple message, but the message delivered to me by Spirit and Rhonda was one that I knew in my heart, but never had enough faith in myself to believe. She knew I chose to feel the pain and the fear, I chose to live in this state of negativity because It was a pattern for me. “A security blanket” is how Rhonda described it, while telling me things about myself that I had long forgotten and couldn’t have imagined. I would like to thank you Rhonda, because after our hour together there is a stillness and quietness in my mind and heart, and around me, that I haven’t ever felt. I went to work and I felt hardly any fear, when usually I would be crying and suffocating on the inside, and thinking about ending my life every day. But you were a pure change in my life, it’s almost like you have drained me of all the pain and confusion. I know now, that when I feel like I am falling back into my blackness, I close my eyes, and can release it from me, talk to my angels, my spirit, which I feel more and more every day, and let them in and ask them for help in getting me back up and into that light.
It’s still hard, I still get nervous and I still hear that voice in my mind that tells me why I should hate myself, and end it, and every day is a battle. But every day is getting EASIER and full of faith. Rhonda’s words and Spirits healing are always there, there to tell the snide voice in my mind why I am worthy, that I don’t have to be afraid, I choose to calm down, turn around and fight through my obstacles with a steady head and heart, and the knowledge that I am part of something much bigger, a picture much more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, is what keeps my mind sated from wanting unhealthy things. I don’t ostracize myself now, I know that I am entitled to this life, deserving of it, and that I can filter the kindness in my heart to others, and help others through what I have lived and felt. Not only that, but Rhonda has given me insight into how others see me, that I don’t have to tell them my secrets, it’s almost like I think “Hey, you don’t have to sit in the corner and hide, you’re allowed to get out there and fight for your slice of cake like everyone else.” And I do, oh boy, I’m not letting life kick me around anymore. It still scares me, but I’m going to get out there and see it too. Fighting is better than not trying at all.
Rhonda is very gifted. I have been to other psychics, and only received snippets of information, words and just basically irrelevant information that never did anything but trail into more questions. Psychiatrists gave nothing but names and diagnosis that were another label for me to define myself. Rhonda was straight out, “here is who you are”, “here is what you are here for”, and painted the picture, wrote the story, what have you, it was there and now I can utilize those words for the rest of my life. My mind is full of imagination, and longing. Rhonda has showed me that there is much more to this world that we could imagine, so much love and so much life. She is no stranger to pain, she took mine, acknowledged it, and handed me back love and understanding. Rhonda, thank you, you really have saved my life. I think that if it hadn’t been for you, I don’t think I would have found myself, or even be here at all.
Lots of love and kind respect,
Abbey.